As part of client communication at the beginning of each office visit, I typically check in with the pet owner to see how he/she is doing, before asking about the pet's condition.
Answers include "fine", "you don't want to know", "tired", "overwhelmed", "worried", and "concerned". There is one client whose answer always takes me aback and gives me a reality check; she is "grateful". Regardless of her circumstances, her dog's condition or her health, she is always grateful. Well into her 80s, she has chosen to see each day as a precious gift. Her gratitude radiates from her eyes and smile.
We met when she had adopted a rescue dog early in 2017 - Benny was found as a stray running on the roadside. After he was taken to a shelter, rescue staff discovered 4 things: Benny had severe separation anxiety. He had a microchip implant that was actively updated, which was how they could identify him. His elderly owner had died 2 months earlier, and Benny had been living on his own. By tracing the microchip, rescue workers found that Benny was 15 years old and had been diagnosed with arthritis in multiple joints and spine, as well as a respiratory disorder.
The woman who adopted him was chosen as his best prospect because of her ability to connect with dogs and willingness to help with their veterinary needs. She had worked with many foster dogs over the years, and her patience helped abused animals find confidence.
As in the past, she was happy to have a dog that wasn’t perfect, and she used their first weeks together to get to know his patterns. She didn’t mind the early frequent trips to my office while we worked on finding the right combination of medications which provided adequate pain control.
She cannot leave Benny for long periods of time, because of separation anxiety. Rather than sedating, she chooses to give him nutraceuticals for calming, in addition to providing training, veterinary chiropractic care, and lots of exercise. Her philosophy is that Benny suffered in the months he spent fending for himself, and she wants his last months or years to be as beautiful as possible. She is grateful for a dog which others would not want. She is also thankful for his love and companionship.
In a culture that often devalues geriatric pets and people, she provides a walking, talking lesson that cannot be ignored. If we all approached life and relationships with her level of gratitude, we could we be deriving similar fulfillment in our daily lives. Regardless of circumstances, you too, can choose to be grateful and generous in every aspect of your life, at home, and in your community.
Rather than criticizing and attempting to change your loved ones and animals, appreciate their unique qualities and celebrate them. They need and crave positive reinforcement and will work to please you, provided they get clear cues.
I am not implying that we become so permissive that any behavior is tolerated from our children and pets. I am suggesting that we create boundaries and communication patterns that support fear-free learning and understanding. For pets, sometimes this includes consulting a behaviorist and veterinarian to discover how to read and manage a pet's undesirable behaviors.
For those of you reading this who are not pet owners, you may wonder how you can tap into this spirit of gratitude - I suggest volunteering at a shelter, with a rescue group, or helping someone else who values their pet but struggles with the costs of pet care. The most valued thing in the lives of most of my client, especially the elderly, is their pet. They often decline services due to financial insecurity regarding how to budget for an unknown life expectancy. Rather than buying another trinket for your grandmother, check in to see if she would value a gift certificate for her pet’s health maintenance.
Let your gratitude this season flow into supporting animal care agencies and small businesses in your neighborhood. Most of our small towns have businesses which sustain our communities, but struggle to stay afloat. n order for our families, pets, churches, organizations, and stores to thrive and enhance our lives, we must support them with our patronage.
This holiday season, I encourage you to be generous. Start with your family and pets, then extend generosity to local businesses and animal shelters. Shop small this holiday season by purchasing from the little guys and give from your heart. Get to know mom-and-pop store owners, whose tax dollars stay in your neighborhood. Internet spending may save some time and a few dollars, but the value of trusted relationships and quality exceeds those small savings.
Gratitude doesn't require more money, but rather, a shift in attitude. The payoff is greater happiness and stronger communities.