Why Can't We All Just get Along?

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Introducing new cats into your house.   The idea seems like it should be relatively easy.  You sit your current cats down and have a rational conversation as to why they’re getting a new brother or sister.  You explain to them that it’s nothing that they did or did not do, it’s just that they’re coming in to enrich everyone’s life and experiences in the house.  The current cats hear your reasoning and understand that it’s a cause for celebration and prepare the environment to welcome the new cat with open arms.

Except it never really happens that way, does it?  If it does, then congratulations.  I envy you and your rational thinking cats that make the transition easy.  I on the other hand have not found that to be the case.  I’m here to tell you that it can be a long, hard process to assimilate new cats into a house of established bosses … cats.  It can be a difficult experience filled with anxiety, uncertainty and sleepless nights.  For everyone.   But if you stick with it, take it slow and steady, it can be one of the most rewarding journeys that you find yourself on.

Two years ago, I couldn’t even begin to picture being where I am today having gone through the process myself.  I was a three cat Fur Baby Owner.  I had two sisters that were littermates and a cheeky boy who we let believe was in charge.  He came in a few years after the girls so he didn’t know the house without them.  Pesca wasn’t sure about Jack when he arrived, but they eventually came to a mutual understanding that she was the boss and he was allowed to encroach on her territory.  One night Pesca, one of my ginger girls passed away suddenly.  While we were thankful she went in her sleep, it was unexpected as she was young and not sick.  The thought to get another cat hadn’t even crossed my mind since I figured I had a long time before the house would lose our cats.  Two days after Pesca passed, a lady came into the clinic I was working at with a cat that was terrified and shaking.  It was the Ice Storm of 2013 at the end of December and the woman informed me that if we didn’t take her cat in at the clinic, she would leave her outside somewhere.  The cat was this fluffy ball of fur, declawed in the front and had the widest, most terrified eyes I’d ever seen.

There was no hesitation, I reached over the counter and had the woman hand me her cat.  I didn’t know what I was going to do with her, I just knew I wasn’t letting her out of my sight.  A week later Georgia Rose came home with me.  Those were the last full nights of sleep I would have for a good six months.

My surviving ginger cat Zing is a mama cat.  She’s never had kittens of her own, but she’s been the mothering type since birth.  The more Georgia Rose cried and howled at night, the more Zing tried to comfort her.  The more noise she made, the more hissing and growling Jack did.  To say it was an easy integration would be a bold lie.

Georgia Rose was terrified, she spent the first month hiding from everyone and everything.  We would only hear her in the middle of the night, be it crying, howling or hissing.  If I didn’t see her for a few days, I would tear the house apart just to make sure she was still there.  Her and Jack could not be in the same room as one another and as much as Zing tried to comfort her, she was swatted at and attacked.

Finally Georgia Rose decided on a room to call her own.  She burrowed into the upstairs kitchen that we use as a library and spent her days and nights hidden in the sink.  I made a bed of blankets for her, put food and water in there for her and she got her own litter box on that floor.  She rarely came out, and only when we were asleep. If she came out and we were awake, she would go back in and hide until she was comfortable again.

This was when I started to gain her trust.  I would go into the room for an hour or two every night and just read.  I would bring a book in and sit in one of the chairs we had set up and spend time with her.  I started by ignoring her completely and not until she came to me, did I pay her attention.  It had to be on her terms and at her pace.  It took months, but little by little she would come out of the sink and get more and more comfortable.  I also found that using the Feliway Diffuser helped a lot.  The pheromones helped to make her more comfortable, both with me, the environment and her new brother and sister.

Months passed and she started to come out of the room entirely on her own.  Mostly while we were asleep, but still, it was progress.  Finally, after she had been at the house for a year and a half, she began to socialize more with us.  She would come out and sit in the room with us while we watched TV, slept on my bed and wouldn’t run as soon as she saw us.

It has been the hardest yet most rewarding experience of my life I think. 

She still has her moments where she will run and hide when she sees anyone.  And she still isn’t very fond of being handled.  But she interacts with the other cats, comes out to visit us and is even confident enough to ‘yell’ at us when she feels she is owed treats.  But it’s strange to see this Georgia Rose and remember how she was when she first came home.

The reason I am sharing my story is to let people who are trying to integrate new kittens and cats into a household that it can be hard.  It can be difficult and stressful.  At the end of the first week I was worried I’d made a mistake and was doing more damage to her than helping her.  A good friend of mine who is a Veterinarian said to give it time, it’s not always an overnight success.  She was right about that.

Patience prevailed and now I am so thankful I hadn’t given up when I wanted to.  If you are finding yourself in this situation, let us know.  We might have ways to help you and give ideas to make the transition easier.  It might take time, tears and a few lot of sleepless nights, but there is nothing like that first time you see the two who used to be mortal enemies, curled up together on a pillow or chair. 

Sweet success.

Julie