The Naming of Cats

The naming of cats is a difficult matter

It isn’t just one of your holiday games

-T.S. Eliot-

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats

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First there was Victoria. Newly married, David & I had never had pets of our own growing up, and she was suited to our tiny apartment and busy lifestyles. Victoria was a very sweet brown hooded white rat, very clean and fastidious and prone to sitting on shoulders. Named, of course, after the, until-this-month, longest reigning female British Monarch.  (As of September 9, Queen Elizabeth II moves into the top spot; don’t say we don’t give you something to talk about at parties!).   Yes, I was about to start my last year of vet school and no, I was not aware she was pregnant when we got her until she delivered 9 babies one Sunday morning. Really!  21 years later you’d think David would let it go. I suppose he’s trying to keep me humble. 

We kept one of the babies, all white, so I named him Spot. I guess I thought it was funny, or ironic, or something.

Some years later we owned a corn snake, and even though he was David’s pet, for some reason he didn’t feel inclined to name him. I suppose snakes don’t come when they are called but neither do cats.  Anyway, I eventually named him Ralph. Ever since then, for some reason, I am no longer allowed to name our pets......

Victoria was one of the few female pets that have owned us over the years. Another was Ginger, a ginger coloured rat who came along after the first two. The third is of course our Border Collie Lizzie, who many visitors to Richview have met over the years. She is named for Queen Elizabeth I, though she has never been called Elizabeth, only Lizzie. (I wonder if the Queen’s family or friends ever call her Lizzie? Probably not.)

Then there was Skunky, our Guinea Pig. He was black and white, so what else could we call him? 

About 16 years ago a big brown tabby tomcat walked into our vet clinic in Etobicoke, he wound up staying and became our first cat. My husband who “didn’t like cats” named him Napoleon.  Unlike his namesake he was a big handsome dude and boy did David love that cat. 

About a year later, David said, “I think we need another cat”. So we took a trip to the shelter in Brampton and looked at all the cats needing homes; some younger, some older. David was spending time with an 8 month old grey and white sleek shorthair male, and being a history major and a civil war buff, said to the Confederate grey cat, “We could call you Lee” (for General Lee). Then he said, “No, I think Jackson” - for Stonewall Jackson. It was then that we saw the tag on his cage: the shelter staff had named him “Jack”. Taking this as something of a sign we took Jackson home. It’s always been Jackson, never Jack. Even though he is 16 years old now, I only recently learned that his full name is Thomas Johnathan Jackson. Fortunately we haven’t had much cause to use all 3 names as he’s always been a good boy. 

After we put Napoleon to sleep in January, and missing our big brown cat, we decided there was room in the house for one more to keep Jackson and Lizzie company. So naturally we wound up adopting two five week old kittens in June.  Did I say June? Can it only have been 3 months? My grey hairs will tell you, some days feels like so much longer. 

The brown tabby kitten is named Sherman. Full name William Tecumseh Sherman, again for the civil war general. His grey tabby brother is Beauregard. For (you’re gonna love this), Pierre Gustave Toutant Beauregard; Another civil war general and maybe one of the best names ever. But we usually just call him Beau. 

But lately, Sherman and Beau have other names. I spend a lot of time calling them “get out” and “get off”. As in, “Get out of the fridge Sherman”. “Get out of the cupboard Beau”. “Get off the counter”. “Get off my clothes dryer”. “Get off the curtains”. “Get off the keyboard”. “Get out of the garage!” “Get out of my breakfast/lunch/dinner!” “Get off my head!” 

They also like to make a dash for the door whenever we are coming or going. That’s how Beau wound up in the garage without my noticing. 1/2 an hour I spent looking for that cat! We practically need Goalie pads now to leave the house. That’s why this week, when I gave them their 4 month vaccines, I microchipped them both. Hopefully we’ll never have to use their microchips to find them, but it’s a little peace of mind knowing they are carrying some permanent i.d. 

Dr Jennifer Portch

We'd love to hear what you call your pets and the interesting stories behind their names!  Comment here under the blog or send us your stories on Facebook or via email and we can post them!